well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
