Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
