ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
