margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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