I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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