In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
