Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
