Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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