so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
