You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
