Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
someone owes me an orgasm
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
