she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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