But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
me + whiskey = a bad person
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
