The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
