I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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