I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
