My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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