Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
