Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
