I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
