the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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