why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
