So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
she peed on how many people?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
