Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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