I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
love makes seman taste better
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
