yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
