i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
no. you can't hotbox the world.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
