Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
