If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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