i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
