Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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