I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
