i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
