When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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