Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
