We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
