I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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