your room smells of hookers.
And success
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
