big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
