worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
