you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
