Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
