Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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