Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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