I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
They have beer where we have blood.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
