I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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