you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
