i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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