brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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