DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
