dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
vagina is talking i cant
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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