the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Randomize
