I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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